Wednesday, 14 April 2010

TYSIC - Weekly Review

This is just a direct copy of what I've just pasted in the TYSIC forum. So for anyone following both, apologies. I normally do a full version here and then a summary for the forum page and a link to here, but this time I just did one version.

This is supposed to be a summary for Mark but it's turned out longer than it should be - sorry Mark. Can't face editing it down now, so I am just going to post it in full(and tick the summary box) as it is. If pushed for time, just read point 5 as that's the main focus of this last week. But please also read the initial preface immediately below.

(This introductory preface is a slightly modified version of an earlier blog posting)
I can't tell you how amazingly helpful this whole project has been/continues to be to me (I have outlined some background to my intermittent problems with depression over recent years in an earlier blog). The approach of spring is always a good time for me anyway, but this year I feel so much more motivated and on top of things, due to the TYSIC kick up the bum. It really has been transformative! The most positive thing (linked with my overarching TYSIC of 'Improving my emotional wellbeing' has been writing a mini diary every day (just for me - a dull series of bullet points listing every single little achievement/ ways I've spent my waking hours, including the most banal and boring things, like 'went & filled the car with diesel' I can now prove to myself that I do manage to do (some) stuff and bizarrely that really helps to ward off my guilt and self-loathing. The process of looking back each week and reviewing things has also been very therapeutic. So thank you Mark: thank you for launching the TYSIC project and associated blogs and forum. It's great!

1. Improve my emotional well-being Going well. When I told my husband about all my TYSICs (shared this project with him for the first time - part of challenge 6: even told him about challenge 6!), he identified this number 1 challenge as THE challenge. I agree, but it's the one I can't really work on directly - it happens as a consequence of progress on the others - oh, and the spring weather helps hugely too!

2. Be less lazy/more productive/procrastinate less. Hmmm. This is the hardest one. It's mainly to do with chores - the boring minutiae of life - which I am supremely good at putting off. Last Friday (having put everything off on Thursday), I did manage to do quite a lot of the household tasks I needed to do (but mainly because I had an non-negotiable deadline) Even so, I didn't do any 'deep cleaning' or real sorting out - just stuffing things into corners again. **Sigh**

3. My sons. A good week since they came to visit my parents with me and we all had a really lovely time together. (no real opportunities to be nice to their respective girlfriends, apart from tolerating the boys' incessant texting & facebooking & phoning of/to them while in Belfast!)

4. Try new things & be proactive. I was a lot more positive in my approach to planning stuff to do while visiting my parents in Belfast. The anxiety that (as a result) any of our family outings or activities which proved unpopular would be all my fault was considerable - but fortunately that didn't really happen. A few sticky moments, but overall everything was enjoyed by everyone - phew!

5. Enjoy time with my parents. Well obviously that was the main success this week, since I was staying with them for 4 days. My Dad is nearly 80 so (without wanting to seem morbid) I am conscious of wanting to really make the most of all the time I have left with them. Maybe they'll both still be around in 10 years or more (after all, both my grandmothers lived until their early 90s) - and if so I want to enjoy ALL of those 10+ years. But I'm also conscious it could be less. My parents are amazing - so vigorous and living life to the full. My mum and I could talk the hind leg off a donkey when we get together (phone calls often last upwards of 2 hours!). My Dad is 'the quiet man' and we seldom talk on the phone. It was therefore particularly nice to have time to chat with him in person - just him and me, when no-one else was around.

6. Nurture my relationship with my husband. A couple of hiccups (inevitably) but generally a good week, particularly as we had more time together due to our family trip to Belfast. And (as mentioned above) I shared my TYSIC project with him for the first time. This 6th TYSIC remains a very important one for ongoing attention - doesn't mean we don't fall out or row from time to time. And we don't like all the same things either, so we continue to plough our own furrows - and that's fine, as long as I/we can keep a happy balance so we don't drift too far apart. I know I take him for granted sometimes - not least the financial security that his income gives us (he's not v happy in his job, so needs a lot of support and appreciation to be able to tolerate it until he can make a change OR retire)

7. Go out to live entertainment more. Yes - I went to see a new play - 'Rock Doves' - while in Belfast. Took my parents as a treat, hoping they would enjoy it... and fortunately they did - very much indeed! It turned out to be a very good play, in fact, with excellent actors - even my husband was positive about the fine acting (inevitably the play itself was less accessible to him since it was about Northern Irish issues). My sons were treated to seeing Derren Brown instead of the play (in the main auditorium of the same venue) and greatly enjoyed this alternative.

Well, that it then: another week of TYSIC reviewed. Good therapy!


  1. Your aims sound a lot like mine! 1,2,4 and 7 in particular. I have to admit, I'm not really keeping up with the TYSIC stuff (the idea of failure scares me too much), but maybe when I don't feel so far behind my starting point I'll give it a go.

    A x

  2. I know what you mean about fearing failure - measurable targets are kinda scarey. I'm always hedging a bit and with so many I can usually spot some progress in one to emphasis and feel good about even when I'm doing abysmally at several others!

  3. sounds like progress to some degree across the board! which is quite impressive with 7 goals.

    i think i would have preferred to see Derren Brown myself, though.